B is for Blog Newbie

I have the reputation of a coward. Among my family and friends who know me well, it’s understood that I don’t have the courage of a mouse on Meth. I’m not just afraid of the dark – I’m afraid of the tunnel with light glowing at its end. Some of my worst fears have to do with mechanical, technical, and digital tasks. Assign me one of those and I’m ready to sign any and all confessions, just don’t make me tackle that job. I fear the knobs and buttons that if wrongly pushed will drop me in the sinkhole below China, especially if the knobs and buttons are icons on a computer screen. Those things terrorize me the most. I might be forever drifting on an unsaved page or trapped in the netherworld of lost passwords.

I am what’s known as a Digital Immigrant, Ha Ha Ha. Ha Ha Ha is part of the title, like LLP might dangle after the business name, Simon and Green, Accountants, LLP. (For efficiency’s sake, I’ll refer to Digital Immigrant as DI.) After all, I was born in the last century. Don’t snort at my bad joke. You may have been born in the last century as well, but just think: everyone born since 2000 is a Digital Native, or DN. Thirteen-year-olds are likely more proficient with a computer than I will ever be. So you can imagine the loud guffaws from my wise family when I announced that I was going to create a writer’s blog.

DI uses the computer for the obvious purpose – it’s the virtual graphite on the end of the Dixon Ticonderoga HTTP, and she is a writer. DI launches her own blog (dreamer.) I wonder what happens if I click on that? Oh crap! DI crashes the computer. DI is on the prowl for computer help. I beg of you, please stop laughing and help me out here. The DN finds me an endless source of computer humor because I know little more than how to open a new document. Any teenagers in the house?

I’ve discovered that trying to manage my own blog site when I have the technical intuition of a newt is like sifting seaweed out of the ocean with a sieve. Barely doable, mostly a failure. WordPress is the management system for my blog. I function at its pleasure like a pop-eyed fan hoping for a sweaty shirt thrown from the stage during a concert.  Throw me a clue, WordPress, show me how to navigate your site. While other bloggers know what to click and what to double click, I’m a fumbler at every feature on the way to posting articles, comments, and images. Any successful post you read on my site – either my son or my good friend J uploaded them. I watched but the process is still not clear to me. I need lots of practice, like a novice heart surgeon needs a patient patient. Neither of us is likely to get a lot of volunteers.

So please be patient with me as I grow Ink Flare. My writing skills and insights are decent (so my mom says) but my computer technology is a work in process. You will see mistakes as I learn to post, edit, insert images, reply, attach, acknowledge contributors. Don’t hesitate to point out the errors. If you want to offer a solution, I’m all ears, eyes, and thumbs, eager to try harder. I won’t give up. My dreams are big and I’m positive light will shine at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve got a colander and I’m off to collect moonlight to light up my tunnel.