Moments are forced upon us though we forge our own paths.
There are possibilities and false leads in every direction.
The outcome is never an absolute and regret or relief might both result.
The soft edge of dark lures us into the void then leaves us waiting, alone.
This is what chokes our airways, stanches our blood.
It’s the response we choose that makes us who we are – hero, fool, supplicant.
Knowing that the future is always a mystery grants us courage or makes us cower.
Success is a triumph one day, an accusation the next, a mourner over the open grave.
It slices our souls. It pools our tears. It makes us human.
This is what sears our minds, opens our hearts to prayer.
Just a thought 79
Landscape painting by Orson Pratt Huish, courtesy Wikipedia
Sharon Bonin-Pratt's Ink Flare 
Comments on: "The Soft Edge of Dark" (49)
‘Yes’, I nodded, all through this
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Thank you. I suspect most of us feel an affinity.
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especially ‘… lures us into the void then leaves us waiting, alone’, where I nodded ‘oh’ rather than ‘yes’
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Care to discuss?
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the void is always the lack of what we thought was the case with which we populate a whole universe with accompanying furniture – when a plug is suddenly pulled, the only reaction can be ‘oh …’
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More questions than answers, Sharon.
You’ve given me something to think about. Any relation to the painter?
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No relation, a painting in public domain I found online. And yes, I have no answers either. More people would pay attention to me if I did.
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That’s not such a bad thing, Sharon. 🙂
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Thank you.
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Sharon,
It seems to me your ur heart is crying over many things in this poem. Greatly written
and leaving us to search for answers.
Those two quotes from your post seems to also carry answers.
“The soft edge of dark lures us into the void then leaves us waiting, alone.
This is what chokes our airways, stanches our blood.”
“Success is a triumph one day, an accusation the next, a mourner over the open grave.”
miriam
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I don’t have the answers, Miriam, but the questions thunder in my mind all day, all night.
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My heart broke open as I read your beautiful words. Thank you.
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Thank you, Jenna. My heart breaks every day for all of us the whole world over.
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My heart and soul breaks every morning when I wake up and remember what kind of world we live in now… Hero, fool, supplicant – I feel like this with each new hour, round and round in circles.
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You’re right, Sarah, it’s an overwhelming and dizzying experience. I’ve read so many uplifting articles from more thoughtful people than myself, but I can’t pull myself from this bottomless terror.
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I’m so sorry to hear that, Shari, and wish I could help you to leave that bottomless terror (preferably by a visit and a big hug, cake and tea, art and an endless chat!). I hope you are in contact with your sons and their families via phone or even Skype? Please take good care of you, and try to distract yourself as much as possible, I’ve noticed this helps a bit, at least during the days. Maybe try out some new recipes? Or, if you haven’t already, start that lovely illustrated book your were planning to do for your grandchildren. You can also call me if you feel like talking (I believe I gave you my phone number?) or write me an email. Just ry to get it off your chest, whatever burdens you so much. Sending you an enormous hug, dear friend!
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Sarah, it’s for friendships like yours that I haven’t abandoned blogs entirely. You are so incredibly kind. Thank you for caring about me and writing these loving words.
Yes, I stay in touch with both our sons and their families and it helps. It’s their future and the future of the world that worries me – how long will it take the economy to rebound and how much stress can everything bear? I spent much of my college years campaigning and protesting for justice and equality for everyone, and I’ve seen so much turned the wrong way. Now this health crisis and the appalling mismanagement by our egotistical president and his sycophantic crew endangers people, not just in this country, but everywhere. This is what keeps me worrying – not for myself but for everyone else. And I feel helpless to correct the situation.
Please take care of yourself, and tell your mom I said hello. Luvya, Shari
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You’re most welcome, dear friend! I do feel with you – even if I’m not always happy with what our leaders are doing and declaring, so far they seem to handle the current situation with care and I’m grateful for that. The orange man keeps busy staying in the news with one horrendous deed or say after the other, the WHO thing yesterday… 😦 People like him always concentrate on who’s to blame instead of trying to find a solution, what a careless waste of time and energy.
Please try not to worry about it all too much as it has a negative effect on the immune system – I know easier said than done. Take care, my friend, and call me whenever you need! Love, Sarah
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I may take you up on the phone call one day. Please email me your number AND best time to call you. I’ll figure out the time difference. Luvya, Shari
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Will do!
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Wow
I would be hard-pressed to choose which words, phrases, thoughts, feelings resonate with me the most. An incredible charged & heartbreaking piece.
Thank you for risking to give voice to the strange place I find myself. Even though we lead a rather different lifestyle than most, yet we are pushed about each day by the ebb & flow of the news cycle.
Be well and keep safe.
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Thank you so much for your kind comments. I find myself teetering between feeling so grateful for all the thousands of people risking their health on behalf of the rest of us, and feeling desolate about what comes next. I hope this finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe.
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I hear you, Sharon. I wake up each morning, perky and looking forward to the day. But at the close of each, it is the dread as news unfolds with increasing numbers & restrictions. But at least we spend time in gratefulness & positivity instead of living in fear all the time.
Hang in there – stay sane & healthy!
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“I wake up each morning, perky and looking forward to the day.” Guiding thoughts on a sound compass – thank you.
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My favorite lines:
It’s the response we choose that makes us who we are – hero, fool, supplicant.
Knowing that the future is always a mystery grants us courage or makes us cower.
You have a way with words . . . has anyone ever told you that? . . . .
I smiled at your response – if you had the answers more people would listen to you. I think if you had the answers more would PAY you (money, if not homage).
xxxx
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IF I had the answers, but then – I’m not the guru at the top of the mountain. Thank you, Judy, for your kind accolade. You always encourage me and make me think maybe something of value trickles from this pen.
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Hi Sharon,
Your words are moving and the phrases that stood out for me are:
It’s the response we choose that makes us who we are – hero, fool, supplicant.
Knowing that the future is always a mystery grants us courage or makes us cower.
Beautiful, heart-tugging words..I am reconnecting after a very long blogging break and look forward to reading more of your work. It is a strange time for me to return, but then again, the reconnecting and communication are appealing during these uncertain times of shelter-in-place. I hope you are staying safe and well. Lauren 🌼
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Hello, Lauren,
I’ve been hopscotching around your blog, impressed with your sensitivity to the pulses found in nature and appreciation and for your graciousness at the opportunities presented you, even under duress. I haven’t left comments yet, but I’ll return and do so.
I’m pleased that my words engaged you. I write all the time, but haven’t blogged much in the last year. Though I love so many of the folks I meet here, I’m unsure how to make my blog more appealing. (Right idea? Wrong idea? Too lazy to figure it out? Yeah, this last one.)
Stay healthy yourself, you and yours.
Shari
At any rate, I’ve noticed your (familiar) name in the comments of some of the other bloggers, so thank you for reaching out and making a connection.
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Thanks so much for your beautiful words after hopscotching around my site and I look forward to seeing you there when you have time. Do you prefer Shari or Sharon? I like to get names right because of childhood experiences with my own name. Long story. Before I returned, I made some slight changes to my blog and all the pages. Just a little makeover that felt good. I think I heard Baydreamer sigh…So it’s an idea if you’d want to try it out. Just like getting highlights or haircuts for us, but I’m not saying yours needs a do-over. It’s more of a personal choice. 🙂 Anyway, it’s nice to reunite in this blog world. Take care, Lauren 💗
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Funny about names, isn’t it? Sharon seemed like a huge name for a tiny kid. I wanted to be called “Tammy,” and had no allegiance to the great-grandmother after whom I was named. My first day of college, after being asked my name by a stranger, I answered, “Shari.” I am still Shari to all my family and friends now, but my legal name is Sharon Lynne Pratt and my writing name is Sharon Bonin-Pratt, Bonin being my maiden name. Our parents tie in all sorts of genealogy, mythology, and dreams to the names they give us but we choose our own. Some cultures assign a baby name, then one the child has grown into, often keeping it a secret to protect their soul and strength, and also give them a name by which they’re publicly identified. And of course we often change our names when we marry.
I like “Baydreamer,” and Lauren Baydreamer is very pretty. It’s unique, I’d love to learn your story.
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Thanks for sharing your “name” story and for your compliment about Baydreamer which was born because I live in the bay area of CA and I’ve always been a dreamer. My author name is Lauren Scott, but Scott isn’t my last name. My last name is German and hard to pronounce correctly, so I couldn’t wait to marry. 🙂 Scott is my middle name which I loathed as a child. My first and last name were uncommon and easily mispronounced, and to top it off, my middle name was a boys! But that annoying middle name became part of my author name, hence, Lauren Scott which you’ll see on my blog. It has a better ring than even my first and last name. So, in the end, it’s all good. There is more to the story regarding my middle name, but I’ll skip that part for now. 🙂 Wishing you all the same, Shari. ❣
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What an interesting journey to your new name. Funny how parents saddle us with their dreams that sometimes end up being burdens. Thanks for the explanation.
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Nice blog ✨
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Thank you, Saania.
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perfectly said – one step at a time, one day at a time…
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Thank you. The days are getting longer, aren’t they? No end in sight to this plague.
I remember when the polio vaccine came out and in 1956, my dad, a family doctor, began a massive inoculation campaign. As the Ewing Township School District (Trenton, NJ) physician, he went to every school and vaccinated every kid. My entire family, all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, about 80 people, came to our house one afternoon in spring. They lined up in our living room and walked through to my dad’s office where he gave everyone a shot, and then walked around through the back entrance into our kitchen. What a production. It was the first summer that everyone was able to face the heat without the dread of catching polio. Now we are desperate for a vaccine to protect us from Corona virus, but it’s probably still 18 months off.
Stay safe, Daal.
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All so very true, Sharon. Poignant thoughts for a poignant time.
I hope you and yours are staying well. 💗💗
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Thank you, Betty. The times right now, they are pretty crazy. Stay safe, stay healthy.
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Sharon this resonates on so many different levels from the personal to the universal collective. It is something that I have long pondered on – why do the same circumstances see some crumble and others rebound stronger. It was this that made me join a resilience research project. Unfortunately no answers were found as I think the group was skewed in one direction already and some I think had joined the group in the hope of finding resilience. You can guess then that your line ” It’s the response we choose that makes us who we are – hero, fool, supplicant.” rings a real bell for me because I do follow Ellis’s philosophy that if you see an event as the worst thing in the world your life will be destroyed and if you see it as a blip in time you can go forward. Hopefully when it comes to your President he will be but a blip in time but I share your concerns because he is a dangerous blip that could effect the rest of the world. I listen to the news reports here and watch him trying to move the blame and I wonder why does he still have a following. This is what I can’t understand and the fact that he does scares me more than the man himself. I am so pleased to know you and know that there is still some rational thought and hope that will win out at your next election. Big hugs. Have missed your thoughts.
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I wrote this poem feeling so much despair and knowing I had to find a way to pull myself out. Enormous universal events can only be felt, truly felt, by the weight they bear on individuals. That’s where I started. Your experience with the resilience research project sounds absolutely fascinating.
Irene, you find such interesting things to take part in, and given that I know a little about your brother’s work, it must be related to how you were raised, and the influence of your parents. I hope you’re right about the orange blip on this country’s wavelength, but because Agent Orange is allowing ultra right wing lawmakers to saturate every avenue of federal governance, it will likely be much more than a blip. He, Agent Orange, has no ideology at all, only a perverse attraction to power and money. I worry that my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, whom I will never know, will still be trying to correct this skewed national orbit.
As an example: the white cop who murdered a black man who was already handcuffed and on the ground. What you may not know is that bystanders were begging the cop to get off the man’s neck, and were threatened with tear gas by the 3 other cops if they attempted to interfere. My personal suspicion is that the cop on Floyd’s neck instigated this intentionally, to set off the legions of angry black and white citizens who have now taken to the streets.
And what words of wisdom from our Agent Orange presidential stand-in? He’s promising that protestors will be met by “the most vicious dogs” and “most ominous weapons.” We are back in the Dark Ages with this monster. I have no doubt that the white cop knew Agent Orange would react this way, and is counting on a presidential pardon after he’s tried and convicted of second degree murder. So, you say a blip, but I think it’s much, much more.
Still, I wish you well, as I wish the world good health, justice, and peace.
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Beautiful writing ❤
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Thank you.
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You’re welcome
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Hi Sharon, what an excellent poem, stuffed full with good things. The title and the line “ The soft edge of dark lures us into the void then leaves us waiting “ are now weaving through my mind this morning.
I do hope that you have been feeling more hopeful as summer has progressed -although external events (especially in America) do make this hard.
I too have had some very low times, and am feeling nervous once more as my eldest son and the woman he loves are moving to a nearby town to start new jobs. It has been marvellous to have them living here with us for the last month and to see that they are safe. However, as you say in your poem “It’s the response we choose that makes us who we are”, and I’m choosing to be happy that they are making there lives and starting their careers together, and only 20 miles away. (It’s a bit of hard work though!)
Thank you for your kind and insightful words on my blog this week. Take care and stay well…
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Kim, thank you for your praise. I don’t consider myself a poet and only began attempting to write poetry about 8 years ago in an effort to find a way of limiting words. It means a lot that you find this poem worthy of your attention.
You got to the heart of what had most disturbed me and provoked the poem. Our youngest son and his family live about 500 miles away, making visiting him during this Covid crisis impossible. This year is a wash, and maybe next year as well. His young children only saw us 2- 3 short visits a year, so to skip a year or two is devastating. They don’t really know who we are. And here I am, writing so many words to describe a personal despair.
I wish your son and his beloved good health and good fortune with their new careers, and hope you get to visit them soon and often.
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Once they’ve moved we can only see them outdoors.
I can understand your despair regarding your little grandchildren. My mother’s only granddaughter (Paige) was 200 miles away. Mum often sent packets of jellybeans with handwriitten notes and photos. Paige told me recently that she had a special Jellybean Grandma and other children were jealous.
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A special Jellybean Grandma. What a wonderful thing for Paige to say.
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Your words always take my breath away. They are perfect for me today. Someone broke my hand this week and I struggled for a day feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t get my coat on. Yet I had made the decision to allow this person into my life. You know my story so you know who I mean. Love takes daily courage and you really never know where it will lead. PS somehow you’ve been unfollowed in my long absence. But I will catch up!
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Adrienne, my heart breaks for you. Yes, I know your story, and I know the pain is more than just a broken hand, though a broken hand is painful enough. But the hand will heal and the rest will probably not.
I’ve sent you an email. And always sending love.
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