Sparked by Words

One Writer’s Inventions

To invent: a tool that will preserve my finger scribbles on the shower door and transfer them to my computer, all words intact rather than dripping down the glass, lost in the holes of my memory.

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To invent: a clipboard that slips under my pillow and catches my dreams –  words, sounds, images, sensations – then transcribes them to my work in progress without twisting them into  gibberish fragments, convincing me they were nightmares all along.

To invent: a microphone that absorbs the sound of my voice as I hear it while singing in the shower and packages it in convenient download apps thus recording a modicum of talent in at least one area, instead of garbling the sound and convincing me I sound as bad as my family insists, shower acoustics or not.

To invent: an Exercycle that moves my body muscles and keeps me fit while drawing out my brain muscle into useful writing modes, so I can lose weight and look gorgeous for my back page photo on my newly published book. Don’t ask, book not in final form yet. Haven’t hired the photographer.

To invent: a mind reading tool that seizes escaping brain waves that would lodge in my head if I didn’t have to interact verbally with the people at the grocery store (please don’t overstuff the reusable bags because they tear – um, yeah, like that) the banker, (two hundred dollars, but as four twenties, six tens, eight fives, and all the rest ones, so I have some tip money handy) and the medical intake nurse (yep, I’ve gained a bit more weight, and no, I don’t want to go to the health center thirty miles away to learn to do what I know how to do but don’t want o do to improve my eating habits, can’t you please just give me a pill?) because in all that yakking time I’ve lost many wonderful and creative story lines.

To invent: one perfect logline that nails the essence of book number one in all its lyrical glory and erudite splendor and does so within the infinitely tiny and impossible parameters of logline requirements, (synopsis of story, important characters, fifty words or less, one or two sentences) therefore allowing me to move forward with other requirements for publishing my book.

Wait, I did that. I wrote the logline. It’s wonderful, succinct, and mesmerizing. It captured the flag.

Oh yeah, baby, you’re a writer now. Ba da bing, ba da bang.

 

 

 

 

Image: water drops courtesy: Google public domain images

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Comments on: "One Writer’s Inventions" (32)

  1. Oh my gosh Sharon I need all of these too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And the logline is… Come on, Shari. Don’t leave us hanging!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think all of those have been invented! All you need is to invent the means to pay for them.
    xxxxx j
    Tag! You’re it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I would so buy all of these!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. To invent: A pen that takes all the emotions in my heart and soul and let them drip on the page.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That would be a good one!

      Words have such a singular dimension and what we feel is so multidimensional. Though your words carry a lot of emotion, Andrew – you do very well with your poetry.

      Like

  6. Yes, you are now a writer now and a good one. You will be great soon, I hope!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The logline? Are you talking about a synopsis? Or are you referring to the mini author bio? What I want invented is a machine that will exercise my muscles without me feeling it so I’m looking great and feeling great while my write my life away. Another invention would be a robot to clean the entire house.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A logline is a one sentence description of your book, meant to attract attention long enough to get someone (agent, editor) to sit down with you and talk about it. You can find a lot of logline descriptions and formulae on the web, as well as info about why it’s important to write one. I synopsis, though short, is longer and gets more into the meat of your work.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. These all sound like great inventions. Believe it or not, there is something rather like the first one. You can buy waterproof pads and pens that you hang on the shower door. The other ones are all up to you, though. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Genius. I’ve read of writers who get up in the middle of the night to jot down inspirations, but how does one ever get any sleep that way?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t actually do that, Da’al, but I often wake in the morning frustrated with myself for not writing down the brilliant thoughts I had in the middle of the night. Of course, if they were that brilliant, why didn’t I remember them?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Can’t remember who it was, but some famous musician said he finally prayed to get his inspiration at convenient times – & it worked! In my more confident moments, I agree with you – that the best ideas are the ones worth remembering.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Love that comment – to get inspiration at convenient times. If only!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Inspiration is truly a gift at any time – your blog reflects your creativity, dear Sharon.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you, Da’al, you are always so generous in your compliments. I was trying to be a bit lighter than usual, though I was pretty pleased with myself over that logline.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Just occurred to me to pass along something that helps me – particularly when I’m driving, it tell my iPhone to, “Make a note: such & such inspiration…”

        Also keep meaning to mention how much I enjoy your self-portrait – did you draw it on computer?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Great idea, but I have an inexpensive flip phone that doesn’t even get dependable reception. I don’t like cell phones, and only have one for emergencies and because I have to be in constant contact with the place where my mom lives. But when my husband’s contract is up on his Smart phone, he’ll get a new one, I’ll get the old one, and I’ll enter the modern age. Whoo-ee!

        Self portrait: Yes, I did draw it, when I got my new computer (since updated several times.) Master son gave me 3 minutes to try the drawing feature, then ordered me off so he could upload some other thingy. I’ve never used the drawing mode again. It actually looks a bit like me, and since I take LOUSY photographs, I’ve opted to use it rather than an actual image of me. If you go to my About page, you’ll see a fairly recent photo, of me with a basket on my head, playing with the two oldest grands at a kids’ museum. Thank you for liking it – I’m waiting for someone to comment on my turquoise face!

        Liked by 1 person

      • We have more in common, then. I only finally switched from flip phone a month ago! Needed to shop for a decent digital camera & found that iPhone even without phone service was a good camera & deal. Great for stills, video,can edit them, has many other features, can surf net with just internet access. Now I sound like an ad. Anyway, only a few weeks got phone service on it, when my husband got phone for his job & could add me to his plan for only $20/month.

        You are indeed an artist! Your blue period? I only saw photo of you as a child on ‘about’ page.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I do know about the camera capacity of the iPhone, and there are other reasons to switch to a better cell phone. Just not ready yet.

        Very, very few childhood photos of me exist. You’ve probably seen the hula one – I was four, living in Hawaii – even I think I was cute in that one!

        Turns out the one of me with the basket on my head is on a different blog. Can’t keep my life straight – LOL!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Loved this post! Absolutely!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Your creative window shows miles of possibilities doesn’t it? 🙂 Loved this, Shari.

    Liked by 1 person

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